Birth By Fire
by X Is For
Summary: When Agni is forced to make her way through seas of spikey hair, sappy themes, and sardonic self-referencing, she's forced to confront how badly she's dealing with her own life... and the fact that she might be a character in a bad self-insert fanfiction.
1. Earth

**Title**: Birth By Fire

**Full Summary**: When Agni is dragged into an adventure and forced to make her way through seas of spikey hair, themes of friendship and light – and is that Utada Hikaru playing in the background? – she is forced to confront how awfully she's dealing with her own life. . . and the fact that she's either participating in an unreleased Kingdom Hearts title or an author avatar in a badly-written fanfiction.

**Rating**: T for swearing, sarcasm, themes, and innuendos to come. Basically, it's written by a teen, in the point of view of a teen, for teens and tweens. I think that counts as a T.

**A/N**: So hey, this is your lovely fanfictor X Is For! I am ashamed to present my very first work of fanfiction, a blatant self-insert game-follower, cheesily titled "Birth By Fire" because, well, you'll see. It's kinda obvious. Anywho, enjoy; don't be too put off by the lemony narrator, and review, whether you like it or not!

**Things I own**: An alarm clock; snarkiness; an iPod; a necklace with a key pendant; Agni and Chris and all those other filler OCs.

**Things I don't own**: Anything by Utada Hikaru; KH:BBS; a gaming console to play it on; anything else mentioned here. Oh, and especially not the opening (prologue?) scene or much of the dialogue. :|

Okay, that's way enough noting to start us off. Are you sitting comfortably? Is your Utada Hikaru remix of choice playing? Well then, let's begin!

Chapter One: Earth

_A tropical island, studded by piers and boardwalks, wooden platforms and wooden sheds, that curve with the trees and land. Waves beat against the shore, lapping the boots of a silver-haired man who stands contemplating the sunset._

_ "This world is just too small."_

_ The sun sets, and a man now stands in the same place – whether the same man as before or not, it is impossible to tell from the back of his long black coat. He holds a large white bundle under one arm._

_ The island that was so bright and vibrant in the light seems dreary when shrouded by night. The man stands with his bundle in a circle of palm trees._

_ "There, you see?" It is a gravelly voice, one that had seen many years. "An empty world, like a prison. I imagine you'll be right at home." He seems to be talking to the contents of the bundle, which he lays on the curve of a tree. A young boy, it looks like, with blond hair. Asleep... or unconscious._

Hey, where am I?

_"Who's there?" The voice matches the boy's face, young and innocent. A light shines brightly, and then the boy is dropping slowly through dark waters. He lands gently on a blank white surface and gazes around confusedly as the silent voice speaks again._

I'm a brand new heart.

_"But this is—" the boy starts to say, then stops and tries again. "Why are you in _my_ heart?"_

The light brought me. I saw it shining in the distance... and followed it here.

_"Yeah. That was my light." The boy touches his chest. His eyes closes halfway. They are bright blue, and blank. "But my heart is fractured. And now, the little I have left is slipping away." The surface he stands on appears to be a representation of that heart; it looks as if it used to be a perfect circle, but a large chunk had broken away, leaving it a jagged crescent._

Then you should join your heart with mine.

_"Huh?"_

_ Light suddenly shines through the surface, repairing the circle and bringing it back to a full white cylinder, the sides black with designs reminiscent of stained-glass windows._

Now our hearts have touched. Nothing else will slip away. And one day... you'll be strong enough to win back the part that already did.

_"Right. Thanks."_

It's time to wake up now. All we need to do is...

_The boy looks straight up and speaks, his voice joined with another, alien one – the silent voice? _"Open the door."

_The whiteness bursts away from the surface like cherry blossom petals, revealing a glass portrait of the boy, a city, and five empty circles. The petals drift up into the dark sky, and the boy watches dispassionately._

_ The man in the black coat begins to walk away, hunched over as if his back pains him. But behind him a hand slowly lifts from the boy in the bundle._

_ "Ahh..." The man turns around slowly, raspy voice pleased._

_ With a flash of light, a weapon appears in the boy's hand – an oversized, stylized key. Or, no—_

_ "A Keyblade?" The man sounds thrilled now. A beam of light slices from the tip of the Keyblade and bursts in the sky. The man in the black coat smiles, satisfied._

_ Ventus's eyes open._

The sun shining through my windows roused me early that day.

I groaned and rolled over in my bed, trying to go back to sleep, but ended up teetering on the edge, about to fall.

That woke me up.

I stumbled to my feet, dropping my blanket onto the floor in the process, and glared blearily across the room at my clock. 7:41 A.M., it proclaimed – no time to be up and about in the middle of summer vacation. But I was up, and up I would stay, it seemed. It looked a nice day outside, too, anyway; no heat shimmering on the rooftop of the house behind mine, and only a couple of clouds marring the cheery shine of the sun on the grass.

I'd had a weird dream last night, though. I had been up late last night (or rather, early. Give me a break, it was vacation, I was _allowed_ to stay up until three in the morning), playing video games, and it seemed as though they had seeped into my brain and invaded my dreams. I could only remember fragments, but it seemed awfully reminiscent of either Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy... and I was pretty sure that had been Utada Hikaru singing in the background. No matter. Today, I would keep myself firmly off of the gaming consoles and my head out of Square Enix's beguiling creations.

I got dressed, stuck a beanie onto my long red hair, and slapped on some eye liner for good measure. Then, pushing book, cell phone, and iPod into my favorite black messenger bag, I flew downstairs and added a granola bar to the bag.

"Mom," I called, "I'm going out!"

My mother emerged from her home office, eyes widened in exaggerated shock. "Agni? Where're you going? And how are you awake this early?"

I shot her an indignant glance. "I can get up early _sometimes_," I claimed, then dropped the joke and my bag to put on my favorite green Converse. "I'm going to go find a place in the neighborhood to sit and read; I might also find Gina or Seiko or someone to hang out with. Do you _see_ how beautiful it is outside?"

"All right, all right. Phone?" I produced it from my bag, tossing the strap over my shoulder, and waggled it towards her. "Breakfast?" I pulled out the granola bar and shrugged dismissively. "Hydration?" I shook my head, and she tossed me a bottle of iced tea. "Be back in time for lunch, then."

I shut the door behind me and dashed into the perfect day.

I was panting by the time I arrived at the park tucked into my suburban neighborhood, having jogged the entire mile and a half in an attempt to see how all those role-playing-game heroes could manage to move at a fast trot all the time. I really shouldn't have played all that Kingdom Hearts last night.

I half climbed, half slumped onto one of the huge rocks in the front of the park and settled down there to relax. I was a singer, and a good one, but my breath control didn't extend to athletics. It seemed that you had to be an athlete to jog everywhere like that... but then again, you kind of have to be an athlete if you spend your time swinging huge heavy weapons around. I smiled at that thought, remembering my time last night re-beating Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core (I had really gone on a Square binge) – how about the Buster Sword or Sephiroth's Masamune for huge heavy weapons? Also total overcompensation for _something_, but I didn't really want to go there right now.

My breath regained, I lay myself down on the warm rock and soaked up the sun. Eyes closed against the morning brightness, I groped in my bag for my iPod, only to find my fingers closing on my phone. Right, I'd been thinking about calling a friend... maybe Chris would want to hang out, she lived in the area...

My lazy, warm bubble burst. I hadn't seen Christina for a month at the least. It was the twentieth of August, so four weeks? Five? And if it was the twentieth, that meant that... that she was leaving for college today.

Christina was a year older than me, but we had been best friends since middle school, when she had slid into my seat on the bus and introduced herself. It was so stereotypical, the way we got along. Chris, tall, blonde, and a perfect American girl: outgoing and easygoing, sweet-tempered and sweet-faced, athletic and popular; and then me, Agni, an erratic mix of Indian and Irish, with my mother's traditional Irish flame-red hair, green eyes, and acid tongue, and my father's golden-brown skin, ethnic name, and Indian perfectionist mentality. Somehow, as it always is in the books, we ended up to be perfect foils and perfect friends.

But it was different now, of course. She was off to college all the way in New Orleans; I was staying at our New York suburban high school. She thought I should come with her and help her settle into her new dorm; I was über-rationally, pessimistically convinced that this was going to prove to be the end of our friendship, and we should just end it now on a happy note. She got rarely irritated; I got not-so-rarely furious; we had a fight, and now she was leaving today. And I wasn't going with her.

I sighed to myself and pushed my phone back into my bag, grabbing my book this time and unclenching my hand from where it had tightened around my necklace, a beautiful key pendant that Chris had given me. I needed to escape this hackneyed anguish. If I thought that life was reminding me of Square Enix, here was the last addition – the angsty backstory. I was a perfect Final Fantasy heroine; all I needed now was spikey hair.

As it turns out, I probably shouldn't have thought that.

I was wholly absorbed in my book, enveloped in the compelling trials of the vampire Lestat, when I heard the noise. It was all too familiar, but it took me a moment to place the hissing rush of sound. And when I did, it took me another moment to process it, put a bookmark in my book, look up, and speak. And then all I could think of to say was:

"What. The. _Hell_."

I sat on my rock and stared at the man who had just walked into the park.

From the hissing portal of darkness that had just elaborately sprouted out of the middle of the grass.

The man who had just walked into the park from the hissing portal of darkness, who was wearing an ankle-length black leather coat with silver trim whose hood completely covered his face, hunched over as if his back was stiff. He looked up and around as the portal closed, and I saw a shadowed hint of a grey beard and a flash of yellow eyes. I openly stared, my mind going on overdrive. This was impossible. This was a really, really good role player. This was a dream. This was _somehow_ that guy from the secret ending of Kingdom Hearts 2. This was a fictional character... who had just looked up and spotted me.

The moment those creepy yellow eyes found mine, I squeaked and fell off of my rock. My poor forgotten Anne Rice book followed suit, adding insult to injury as it bounced off of my shoulder. The Kingdom Hearts dude's eyes, barely visible in the shadows of his hood, traced this, finally settling back on my own.

"...Hi?" I managed.

He looked at me a little more before seemingly deciding on something and walking towards me.

"Excuse me," he said politely, his voice rough and gravelly. My head spun. How was this _happening_? "Could I ask you where I am?"

"Um." I tried to gather my thoughts. "New Rochelle, New York... the United States... Earth?" It came out sounding as a question.

"Earth," he mused. "A particularly dark world, I can feel. And you..." He turned his gaze on me, and I was unnerved yet again by that yellow gaze. "You, I can tell, have the capacity for greatness and great darkness."

That took me aback. _Greatness? _That was... unexpected. And great _darkness_? That was not just unexpected, but I had played enough Kingdom Hearts and read more than enough fantasy books to know that that was _not _a good thing. But still, I didn't know... the way he said it was both unsettling and intriguing.

"Excuse me? W—what are you talking about?" I spluttered. "I don't have any—I—who are you?"

He pushed back his hood to reveal a middle-aged or older man with chocolate brown skin, slightly pointed ears, and those piercing yellow eyes, bald but with a little silver beard perched on the bottom of his chin.

"My name," he pronounced, "is Master Xehanort. I come from another world, the Land of Departure. Would you like to come with me, child?"

Okay, I know what you're thinking. Why would I want to go with him? I'd only just met him; for all I knew, he could've been a creepy child molester who liked to cosplay as Kingdom Hearts characters. In fact, that was actually more likely than him actually being a Kingdom Hearts character. I mean... really? A fictional world or a fictional character turning out to be real? What are the chances of that? So I really have no excuse for what I did next.

I stood up, drew myself upright. "My name is Agni," I said, "Agni Gadhavi."

"How fitting," he said cryptically. I think he was smirking. "Would you like to come with me, Agni?" He lost the smirk, and went back to giving me an appraising stare. "I can teach you many things, and unlock the power that lies in your heart."

This guy reminded me of Xemnas, from the other Kingdom Hearts games, with his melodrama and his preference for oration over just talking. And good grief, he was _fictional_. But still...

Aw, hell. I could do with an adventure, get away from my angst.

"All right. I'll go with you."


	2. Land of Departure, part one

Chapter Two: Land of Departure

Xehanort smiled then, undeniably eerily, but by then I didn't really care. "Good!" he exclaimed, and reached forward. I reeled back slightly, unsure of what he wanted, but all he did was to take hold of my upper arm tightly – proving entirely that TV trope about the female immobilization spot – and drag me towards the still-open portal of darkness.

"Hang on, hang on, hang on!" I shouted. I dug my heels against the ground, stopping him in his tracks, and pried at his grip on my arm. "Don't I get to know where you're taking me, and why?"

He peered at me. "Very well," he replied. "We are going to the Land of Departure, so that you can take the exam for the Mark of Mastery, achieve it, and aid me in my work."

The Mark of Mastery? That had been one of the arc words released for the next Kingdom Hearts game, but... "Doesn't that have to do with keyblades?" I asked.

"Well, of course," he answered, then paused. "That is right... you will need one. Can you not summon it on your own?"

I blinked, then considered. I had never tried before, of course, but maybe... I concentrated hard (although on what I wasn't sure), filling my mind with images of the keyblade, that famed weapon of the chosen ones of the Kingdom Hearts universe. I exerted my will, screwed up my face, held out my hand, and imagined that flash of light and familiar clink of the appearing blade, and then opened my eyes to see... nothing.

Xehanort looked direly amused. "I see." He held out his own gloved, claw-like hand. With that flash of light and clink that had escaped me, a black keyblade appeared. He offered it to me hilt-first.

Cautiously at first, and then with growing confidence and mild amazement, I picked it from his grasp and took a few swings. I looked up and grinned. "All right, now we're good to go."

Not to be repetitive, but the darkness portal was unsettling. Very cool, though, beside the disorienting nature of the terrain. But I completely forgot about it when I set eyes on my very first Kingdom Hearts world in real life. Well, what seemed like real life, anyway. . . with the weird nausea that the portal gave me and the weight of the keyblade in my hand, I was getting more and more convinced.

As I ran my eyes along the hills and cliffs of the Land of Departure, my breath catching at the sight of the star-studded night sky, I couldn't help but feel a strange detachment from the world and life that I had left behind mere minutes ago. It felt as though... I didn't know. As if this was real, and that wasn't. I clutched Xehanort's keyblade in my hand and stared at this world, and summer vacation and my agonizing over Chris couldn't have been farther away.

"Welcome to the Land of Departure," an unfamiliar voice said behind me. I jerked around, eyes popping wide, but the man, tall with greying hair and a scarred face, only smiled at me in a friendly manner. "Master Xehanort," he added, nodding to my companion, "it is good to see you again. My home is yours."

"Thank you, Eraqus," Xehanort rasped. "This is my apprentice, Agni, from the world of Earth," he continued, gesturing at me. I attempted to hide my surprise at being referred to as such, and shoved an amiable smile onto my face.

"The pleasure is mine," he said graciously. "I'm sure my pupil Aqua will be happy to show you to a room – I asked her to come here and greet you. Ah—here she is."

I followed his turn to the side to see a pretty young woman with blue eyes and hair – yes, blue hair, Aqua, water, blue, Square Enix is so genius – approach. Her eyes moved from Master Eraqus to Xehanort, and then rested, slightly quizzically, on me.

"Aqua," Eraqus continued, "this is Master Xehanort and his apprentice Agni. If you would help her out, give her a room..."

Aqua nodded, beckoned to me, and waited for me to join her before walking out of the room. Behind us, the two men began to converse in low voices.

"I'll get you a room," Aqua interrupted my scrutiny, "and some clothes, I think. You'll need armor, too... are you a new apprentice of Master Xehanort's?"

I jumped and looked at her. "Oh—right—thanks, Aqua," I said sheepishly. "Yeah, I'm fresh from my home world. Haven't been his apprentice for an hour."

She looked at me curiously. "Home world? Then you really are from another world."

"Uh... was I not supposed to say that?" I fidgeted. C'mon, Agni, you can do better than that. Remember, Kingdom Hearts, preserve the world order...

"No, that's fine, we knew about the different worlds," she smiled. "None of us have ever been to another one, though, so Ven is probably going to bombard you with questions the moment you meet."

"Ven?" I pounced on the name, wanting to figure out just where I had landed myself.

"My friend Ventus. He, my other friend Terra, and I all train under Master Eraqus to master the Keyblade."

"Right." Aqua, Ventus, Terra... Yeah, Square Enix was _real _creative. And then I realized something, and a chill crept up my spine. Aqua, Ventus, Terra, and _Agni_. Latin for water, wind, and earth... and then the Hindu god of fire. Oh my god, was this a conspiracy or something?

What _was _this? How did Kingdom Hearts suddenly become real? And why did my name match those of the spikey-haired heroine and the no-doubt-spikey-haired heroes? Was this some creepy planned thing? Was I part of a game? Was I... god forbid... a self-insert or something into a work of fanfiction? Trembling with paranoia and theories of machinations and schemes and awful fanfiction writers, I hardly noticed Aqua's piercing gaze on me until I nearly tripped over the bottom stair of a building. Her hand shot out and stopped me from falling, and I nearly tripped again. Panting slightly, I looked at her gratefully and finally caught on to her creased brow and narrow eyes.

"Um... what is it? Did I do something?" I asked, although my subconscious mumbled something like _beside be a total klutz._ She said nothing, but continued to look at me, then turned abruptly and began to climb the stairs.

My head _really _hurt.

"Well, fine," I muttered. "No need to treat me like my name is Mary Sue." At least that comforted my fear of being a character in a fanfiction story. Unless, you know, Aqua was going to be the character used to say "See? She's not a Mary Sue! Someone doesn't like her!"

I really needed to get over this.

"We're here."

I blinked; I had spaced out again. Or maybe that was a scene cut. I mentally smacked myself and took a glance around. We had arrived in a dark hall reminiscent of a museum or some other fancy building, with dark blue tiles on the floor and torches burning dimly in their wall sconces. In front of us, a door was ajar to reveal a pretty plain room, white-sheeted bed and hardwood floor, that I guessed would be mine.

"I'll bring you some clothes in the morning," Aqua continued, "and I'm right across the hall, so you can just knock if you need anything."

I figured that this was my cue to say something plot-important, but I really couldn't think of anything. Guess being in a video game doesn't give you video-game conversation skills. "Um, thanks," I managed.

She nodded. "Good night."

"Night."

And she went into her room, and I into mine, and for the moment everything was simple.

**A/N**: How's that, then? Chapter Two! Very short! The Land of Departure! The emergence of the self-insertion, and the meta-humor, and all that fun stuff! Yeah, pretty uneventful, I know. . . but hey, rest assured, the next chapter is soon to come. Relatively. Not enough people care about this for me to have any sort of update schedule – the first post was in February, for crying out loud.

. . .Hey, if _you_ care and want an update, there's a new, pretty, bright blue button right smack in the middle of the page below that you should press.

A couple quick notes – _Agni_ is the name of, indeed, the Hindu god (and not even goddess) of fire. So sue me, I couldn't think of any better references to fire beside, y'know, Ignis, Mulciber, &c, &c, cheesy stuff. Cheesi_er_ stuff.

For short-term future reference, since I was editing this, found it confusing, and decided to confuse you, my darling theoretical reader, in a different way – "Ecks" is what I refer to myself as. Augh, that grammar. Anyway, "X is for," "X," "Ecks". . . geddit? Good.

Lastly, a _Mary Sue_, in case you don't know, is a character in a fanfiction such as Agni, who is an author insert designed to be perfect in every way, usually total wishful thinking and totally unlike the author in every possible better way. I tried to make Agni as little of a Mary Sue as possible – I gave her some of my less flattering traits, I made her non-omnipotent, I'm not going to pair her with a Kingdom Hearts character. . .

. . .Sorry, Ecks, she's still a Mary Sue. Hey, I tried.

This author's note is as long as the chapter. Thanks for reading; please review; see you next time!


	3. Land of Departure, part two

Chapter Three: Land of Departure, part two

By "everything was simple," of course, I meant that I spent the entire rest of the night tossing and turning and worrying and being paranoid and basically not getting a single wink of sleep. By the time I was standing in a large, grand hall next to Aqua, Terra, and Ventus (who had, as predicted, begun to ask a few million questions before the other two laughed at my gaping mouth and pulled him off of me), I was banging my head on the stone wall and bemoaning the apparent lack of coffee in this world.

Aqua had supplied me, whether fortunately or unfortunately, with clothes that well matched hers and those of Terra, Ventus, Xehanort, and Eraqus. (Terra and Ventus were spikey-haired, by the way, in case you were wondering. I found myself sublimely unsurprised. And slightly worried about my own hair. . . was it just me or was it looking a little spikey itself this morning?!) Thanks to this, I was garbed in a cut-off turtleneck of a strange something-proof – bulletproof? Sword-proof? Waterproof? Kill-proof? Well, hopefully – material, leggings of the same cloth thing, and armor-like high heeled boots that looked dangerous. On my left arm was a strange device in the same armor-like style as the boots, a button on a crest resting on my shoulder and then thick scales forming an extra sleeve along the outside of that arm until the inevitable Tetsuya Nomura trademark – the fingerless gloves. A slightly short, tight-sleeved, and copiously pocketed jacket covered the rest of my arms and most of my sides, stopping just short of the two crossing straps on my hips, matching similar things upon the other apprentices. Terra, Aqua, Ventus, and Agni and now all of this matching... it looked like I was here in this game to stay. I finished the ensemble off with my own key necklace that Christina had given me.

If I were telling this story out loud, I'd be taking a gasping breath of air right now. Sorry about that. I promise it's decently significant. But enough abuse of the fourth wall.

Everything was form-fitting and remarkably flattering, and I was not even subjected to the way that Aqua's crossing straps emphasized her, um, video-game-quality chest. (Yeah, that was one major way that I failed at fitting into the video game genre.) With Xehanort's keyblade reassuringly heavy in my hand, I felt ready to take on whatever this world, and this weird test thing, had to offer. I followed after Aqua and Terra as they strode up to a platform-dais-thing, Ventus wishing them luck and trotting over to the side. Master Eraqus, on the platform, stepped forward and looked at each of us in turn.

"Today," he pronounced, "you will be examined for the Mark of Mastery. Not one but three of the Keyblade's chosen stand here as candidates, but this is neither a competition nor a battle for supremacy – not a test of wills, but a test of heart. All of you may prevail, or none. But I am sure our guest, Master Xehanort, did not travel all this way to see our youngest prospects in years – and his own protégé, no less – fall short of the Mark." He surveyed us grandly once more, then stated, "I trust you are ready."

"Yes," I replied, a beat after Aqua and Terra. Of course they were perfectly in unison; they'd probably been rehearsing for this day for years.

"Then let the examination begin." Eraqus gestured with his keyblade, and a number of spheres of light appeared across the hall. The other two apprentices started towards them, brandishing their keyblades, but I paused, looking at Master Xehanort. He was smirking again, and as I watched he made a twisting motion with is hand. Thinking he was dismissing me to the test, I turned back around toward the spheres, only to see them shudder with dark-hued electricity and start jerking around. Eraqus stepped forward, but Terra and Aqua both lunged at the spheres and began to beat them up. My eyes flicked between the two Masters, but Xehanort just grinned evilly and shooed me towards the spheres.

I turned back and brandished my blade cheesily – only to stop short, seeing a sphere converging on Ventus, where he had been standing on the periphery.

"Ven!" I cried. Barely thinking, I darted towards him and awkwardly swung Xehanort's keyblade towards the orb, barely connecting with it. My wrist ached at the recoil of my weak whap. Ventus sent me a slightly bemused glance and fell into a slight crouch, summoning his own keyblade with a flick of his wrist. He sliced at it sharply, easily managing to cut through it and disintegrate it.

"Don't worry about me," he called to all of us. "You three focus on the exam."

"But Ven, you're in danger here!" Aqua protested – she had been keeping a nervous eye on him through the whole test so far. "Go wait in your room." Certainly nervous; she bit the words out through gritted teeth.

"No way! I've been looking forward to this – seeing you guys become Masters. I'm not gonna miss it now." Ven shook his head vehemently and shooed me back onto the floor.

I glanced at Ven's ready posture, then shook my own head and ran back over to Aqua and Terra. "He can take care of himself."

Terra nodded. "He's been out there training just as hard as the rest of us."

"Yeah!" Ven interjected unnecessarily.

". . .Stay sharp, Ven."

With that last word, Aqua dove towards another orb and attacked it; Terra and Ven followed suit, and I tried to keep up. I managed maybe to contribute. . . two hits? Give me a break, okay? My best fighting was done unarmed, in Taekwondo class, and even there I was only a yellow belt. Despite my incompetency, the others' speed decimated the spheres in record time, and soon Eraqus was walking towards us again.

"That was unexpected," he admitted as Terra, Aqua, and I formed ourselves into a line, "but one must keep a still heart even in the most trying of circumstances. It was an excellent test, one I chose to let unfold." He paused. "Which brings us to your next trial. Terra and Aqua, the two of you will face each other in combat first. Remember," he added as I backed away to where Ven was and Terra and Aqua readied themselves, "there are no winners – only truths, for when equal powers clash, their nature is revealed."

There was another slight pause as this new piece of melodrama sank in. When equal powers clash? I guessed that there would not be a lot of revelation of nature when _I_ fought one of these guys.

Anyway. Terra and Aqua registered this as I watched, Xehanort's keyblade drooping disconsolately in my grip, and straightened into their ready positions. The tension and determination in the air was nearly tangible.

"Begin!"

I can't even describe what the next five minutes were like. I stared from the sidelines, my jaw comfortably resting on the floor, as Terra and Aqua engaged in an incredible dance of deadly metal and implausible feats of agility. After a short while, though, I got over my shock and began to pay closer attention, noting the differences between their styles. Aqua stayed light on her feet the whole time, even jumping up at times to dodge Terra's blade, but the other apprentice was stronger, more forceful. He seemed to be struggling with something, however, and I spied every now and then a swirling darkness that coalesced around his fist before he shook it away and leaned back into the battle.

Before long, Eraqus called a halt, and a second later I was facing Aqua, clutching sweaty-handed at Xehanort's keyblade. Since I was new, the masters had decided to pit me against both of the other wielders to more fully take my measure. This was to be the first of the two matches, but I had a distinct feeling that I would be sliced into little Agni-kabobs before I had a chance to face Terra.

"Begin!"

The second Eraqus delivered that word, Aqua _leaped_ at me. I hardly had a second to jerk the keyblade up before hers clashed against it. I stumbled back, but she was immediately on me again. I barely blocked, blocked, stumbled, blocked, my blood a waterfall rush in my ears. Xehanort's keyblade just – I can't say this without sounding awfully cheesy – it just felt wrong in my hand. Besides which, my only chance to use it had been that little crash course against the spheres five minutes ago.

Aqua lunged at me again, and I somehow managed to lock the teeth of Xehanort's keyblade against those of hers. She pressed at me, her calmly set – even vaguely sympathetic – face at odds with the fierce strength that sent my feet skittering to get a grip. I disengaged, thrust myself back, swung uncoordinatedly. She blocked, swung again, I parried again – this time, though, I could have sworn that I had put more force into it. Maybe I was getting the hang of this.

Aqua seemed to think so, too, at least; her brows furrowed, and she stepped back a couple of paces, her shoulders lightly rising and falling with her breaths. I hesitated, and then took a step forward; she didn't move. I began to circle, like fencers do in the movies, making her turn and her eyes narrow slightly. I just hoped against hope that I didn't trip as I tensed, and then, all at once, dashed at Aqua and lifted my arm to swing—

And in the swiftest move I'd ever seen, Aqua's keyblade slithered around my own and flicked it out of my hand, the point landing neatly at my throat. Dead.

My mouth fell open, and I fell over, sprawling on the floor. Xehanort's keyblade spun to a clattering halt six inches away from my hand; I inched towards it, but it disappeared abruptly.

Well, thanks.

Aqua wasn't even breathing hard. She wasn't even looking at me, actually, but at where Master Eraqus had begun to stand up. A crazy idea began to take hold of me. It probably wouldn't work, and it was probably horridly inappropriate, but. . .

I swept out a leg and knocked Aqua off her feet.

Surprised, she fell. Hard. Her keyblade was still in her hand, so I kicked at it. Somehow, I managed to knock it out of her grasp without unbalancing myself too much, so I sprang to my feet and cast around for my own blade.

Shit. It'd disappeared a moment ago, hadn't it. Xehanort had summoned it back. I was on my own. What a wonderful master I had.

But Aqua was up almost immediately, and renewing her assault on me; I could hear her charging from behind. I had to move, armed or not. A second before her keyblade struck me, I whipped around, ducked under her blade, and punched at her sword shoulder. I caught a glimpse of the surprise on her face – Agni the incompetent, putting up a fight? Who'd'a thunk? – but she dodged and parried.

Without the unwieldy, alien keyblade in my hand, I found it easier to fight, slipping unconsciously into my forms. It was a bit weird trying to oppose weaponless someone with several feet more reach than me, but I wasn't complaining. A number of blows later, I'd driven her back across the floor.

I caught the hilt of Aqua's keyblade in my left hand. Up that close, I could see the sweat beading her furrowed brow and acknowledge her gritted teeth. I didn't have time to do more than acknowledge, though; she would extricate herself in no time. I ripped the blade from her hand, flinging it behind me, and swept my leg around one more time, hooking it around her knees and bringing her to her feet again. I knelt swiftly on the ground beside her, one knee on her torso and a hand at her collar to keep her down, and looked up at Masters Eraqus and Xehanort on their hoity-toity dais-thing.

They looked stunned. Eraqus' brow was furrowed in composed consternation, and he was leaning forward, hands on the arms of his chair. Xehanort even looked stunned in a smug kind of way, orange eyes glittering like his evil plan just got revamped. _I _was stunned.

I'd won. Against the blue-haired super-fly video game character. Without even using Master Xehanort's keyblade.

Well, shit. There must be something to this Mary Sue idea after all.

**A/N**: Oh my gawd, it's another chapter. It's only been six months, just about. Seven? Gah. And it's so long, almost ...six pages, too! Yeah, okay, that's short, and also only a page longer than the last one. Whatever. I think this is going to be the standard, though; sorry, guys.

But hey, for this one you theoretical readers are just going to have to thank **blackhawk68**, whose timely review, honest to god, led me to finally, finally finish this chapter. Thank you! And also to **SomeoneThatExists** and **Flame Sergeant Reissem**, who _also_ reviewed! _And_ to the (holy shit) three people who have this on their favorites list and two who are following it! Man, I feel popular. Thank you, thank you, thank you so much.

Let's see, do I have any notes for this chapter? Not really. Chapter titles are going to be boring, I'm sorry. If you have any suggestions to fix this, be my guest; my only thought towards them was to make it seem a bit like a video game walkthrough. (The only exposure I've had towards the games, I'm afraid. Pfeh.)

I'm looking for a beta, if you're interested. Anyone? No? Let me know. Anyone need a beta? I'm a lot better at that than I am writing, and I actually do it instead of sporadically and procrastinatorily responding.

Oh, yeah. I suck at writing fight scenes. Might prove a bit of a problem for writing up a video game. I also don't know Taekwondo. Hell, I don't even know if the word should be capitalized or not. Point is, don't sue (Sue! ha!) me for ignorance, just tell me.

Speaking of suing, I forgot to mention last chapter – I don't own Kingdom Hearts, or anything but Agni and her wee little butterfly effect. Honestly, you should know that by now.

That's it for now! Next chapter already has four sentences in it, so it might be up by end 2013. As you can tell, though, reviews actually do make me update, more or less; go figure. Hint hint, wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more. Thanks for reading; Ecks out!


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